Sometimes (a lot of the time) I get infections. & when I have infections, I am not allowed to get my infusion. Which means my JIA will not be treated, and I will be a reduced to a moody lump of perpetual struggle.
I’ve had one of those days where you just can’t be all smiley and happy. We all have those kind of days. But mine today was mostly down to pain. The later in the day it got, the harder it became for me to hide my discomfort. It presents itself as grumpy irritability and I always worry that everyone thinks I’m being a bad person, but I don’t care enough to explain myself.
My family and friends just kind of get it, I’m lucky like that. But I know some others see it as ‘just arthritis’ and thats just downright rude. You try smiling when your body feels like its running on minus 5 hours sleep when really you had a good 10 hours. Its like when you wake up and look at your phone to realise you forgot to put it on charge before you went to bed and you’ve woke up to 10% battery as opposed to the desired 100%.
‘I’m smiling on the outside but i’m hurting on the inside‘ uuuuuuuuurrrghhh! No. I’m hurting so I’m outwardly a big ball of whinging. & I will not allow myself to feel bad for that. Neither should you, regardless of who you are, you’re allowed to have a shit day and there doesn’t always have to be a reason for that.
Particularly Painfully,
ME.
P.s. Enjoy the featured image, its an expression of how muddled I feel when I’m sore. Bye.
Growing Pains 